Commune Photo Gallery - Laserquest/Sainsbury's Page 1
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The Date: 7th April 2001
The Place: Laserquest Chester / Sainsbury's Upton
The Occasion: Serious Fun With A Laser Gun / Aftermath of a large pitcher
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A bit of introduction for this extra-large gallery of photos. The night
before, we'd had a long, long game of poker which was never satisfactorily
resolved from my point of view (because I didn't win). Anyway, we decided
to work out something to do for the next day, and hit on Laserquest. Due
to a miracle of planning, we incredibly managed to field six players to
Laserquest. Unfortunately we could only get one game, and it was our six
against eleven young teenagers and parents.
"Are you sure you want the sides to be like this?" asks the Laserquest
"Well," I say, "I suppose it is unfair. Maybe we should give
the other side some more players."
Laserquest is a very peculiar thing. It's generally the perfect outlet for
the buildup of testosterones in males so that during the pre-game proclivities
you have people saying stuff like, "Don't make me shoot you, you stinking
motherfucker!" And that's before the game, remember.
So the game started off fine and it was very fun since the other side were
pretty useless but they provided good target practice. Speaking personally,
the best part of the game was when Moby's James Bond theme tone started
pumping out and I strode up, Matrix-style, to the enemy-held base and casually
picked off target after target with one shot bursts. Like I say, it's a
good and safe way to have fun, kids!
This photo was taken after the sole game we had in the party room where
we'd stowed our coats (there was a keypad lock to the room, with which we
had a great deal of fun pretending to play the Crystal Maze, hammering out
sequences of numbers on the pad and crying in desperation at being locked
Apparently people had picked up on the fact that I like being in photos
and so they offered to take one of me, which was very nice. We were aiming
to get a photo of one of the lads with a boot on some hapless youngster
and a gun pointing at the face, in classic 'Make my day' pose but it never
materialised probably because I didn't want to take my camera into the game.
Fact of the day: People in Germany aren't allowed to play Laserquest, or
in fact any game involving guns or shooting people. Can't say it made much
of a difference to my German friend at university who enjoyed Laserquest
Shortly after the game and a three minute wander around Chester (during
which we concluded that our sweat pants and trainers probably would bar
us from, well... every place in Chester) we drove off to a Mexican restaurant.
Feeling in a justifiably celebratory mood (we'd won the Laserquest by a
huge margin), Martin and I ordered a pitcher of margaritas and proceeded
Of course, we paid no attention to the sign stating 'No sportswear or trainers
are allowed in this bar'.
Interesting Digression: There's a school of thought that believes that states
of drunkeness can be assigned numerical values. Sober is zero. Unconsciousness
is two. The perfect, nirvana-like state is One - where you are at your most
entertaining and interesting. Obviously One is a subjective determination
and really a state of mind, and it also varies on situation (e.g. corporate
dinner or curry with the lads). However, in this case Martin and I were
fairly confident on reaching One, or thereabouts.
We left most of these photos to the end of our stay at the bar to prevent
being chucked out. Martin is on the right here. I am not looking anything
like myself in this photo. I don't know why.
Richard and Rachel in a ominous red light. Rachel is a semi-regular reader
of Vavatch, which is pretty incredible since most of my friends don't read
my weblog. Well, it's not that surprising, since I make a point of not talking
about them since I'd probably get into trouble for revealing all sorts of
I believe at this point we were talking about remotely piloted micro-air
vehicles. At least, I said something like, "You know those, um, flying,
um, things. With helium. Yeah. You put the, uh, motors on the bottom and
use a remote control."
After a bit of a mixup with nanobugs (not sure how that happened), the conversation
veered wildly off into a discussion of the little airship Mel Gibson's son
has in the film Ransom, and how he'd used the ridiculously expensive
although technically audacious method of a digital video camera sellotaped
to a remote control helium mini-airship with radio uplink. After this brief
moment of lucidity, everything degenerated into stories of drunkeness at
our respective universities.
Martin on the left, Katherine on the right.
Outside the restaurant we passed a Warner Village cinema and saw this
rather peculiar spectacle of a pig only half-dressed. Protesting loudly,
I was made, nay, forced, to photograph it to the bemusement of onlookers.
Perhaps this entire situation dates back to the early Friends episode where
Chandler remarks, "Donald Duck never wears shorts, but when he comes
out of a shower, he's got a towel on. What's that about?"
After the post-drinks obligatory trip to McDonalds (20 chicken nuggets
and 'one of each dip you have' - resulting in us getting mayonnaise dip,
of all things), we decided to go to Sainsbury's, ostensibly to allow Katherine
to get a birthday card which was urgently required. Sainsbury's was open
24 hours so no breaking was necessary.
And so begins 'Martin's Day At The Supermarket'.
Visible here is Martin (foreground) quietly stalking Katherine (midground)
who is looking for a card.
Martin's eye is caught by the rather attractive selection of budget girls'
clothes. Perhaps his state of intoxication has resulted in him actually
considering the clothes here.
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